Birth wasn’t what you’d expected? Here are 4 ways you can come to terms with your negative birth experience

negative birth experience

There are so many different types of birthing experiences, it would perhaps be impossible to list them all. Everything may have gone according to plan, but maybe you’re troubled by the whole experience? Perhaps your plans went out of the window and you felt like you’d lost all control? Or maybe your experience was completely life-changing but for all the wrong reasons – to find out more about the causes of birth injury, click the link – no matter what happened in the birthing room, it can be difficult to come to terms with what happened when the birth of your child wasn’t what you were expecting.

Luckily, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Here are 4 ways you can come to terms with your negative birth experience.

Remember how brave you are

Giving birth – whether vaginal or C-section – requires a huge amount of courage and strength. Not just physically, but mentally. No one can predict when/where they go into labour, but when something goes wrong or something occurs that you certainly weren’t expecting during the event, that’s when fear really kicks in. Despite this, you have to remember that you kept on going, you felt like giving up, but you didn’t. You faced it head on and won. You were incredibly brave, and you should admire yourself for that.

You prepared and you used your knowledge

Whether you went to classes, you read a mountain of books, you watched videos online or you read blog posts from other moms, you still took the time and effort to prepare for birth. Again, you faced your fears and were looking at every possible scenario and how to manage it. Sure, you might not have had the water birth that you researched for weeks on end, but you used the breathing techniques you read about, you remained calm, you remembered to listen to the midwife, you did what you needed to do in order to get you and your baby through it. In doing so, you protected yourself and your baby as best you could.

It’s changed you (for the better)

It was manic, scary and you weren’t sure what was happening. But there’s always some good to be found in these terrifying and unknown situations. Maybe you kept your composure and you’re the ability to keep cool under pressure has excelled. If you stood your ground and refused pain relief, perhaps you tapped into a more confident and assured version of yourself you never knew existed? You’re braver than you thought. Perhaps because things didn’t go to plan your relationship trans men and women with your birthing partner is now stronger than ever? This birth experience might have changed you, but it might be for good.

Reach out

Many mothers go through a negative birthing experience. Reaching out in mother and baby groups, online forums or speaking to your GP can really make a difference and help you come to terms with your experience.

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